Chapter Twenty Six

She studied his face, the thick brows, the whiskers on his chin, the way his bottom lip was fuller than the top, the way his eyelashes seemed to sparkle in the sun. She loved the smell of him, the sound of his laugh, the magnetic aura that surrounded him. She wanted to remember everything. He was quiet, sitting on the grass at the Clean Ponds. She found the name humorous. It used to be referred to as the Dirty Ponds when residents used to through trash and waste into it in the 17^th century. But Prince Menshikov cleaned it up and rechristened it with its new name.  There were swans and ducks floating quietly on the water today.  Zoey looked up at the blue sky. There were very few white puffy clouds scattered upon it.  The tiny breeze ruffled the leaves. The water in the pond was a smooth and still as it would be in the winter when it froze over. She could imagine kids of all ages skating here on the frozen pond.  She could see the snow piled up around the bank in her mind. She could see Alex skating here as a child, bundled up in a huge coat that could somehow made him look small. He lay there in the grass next to her, too huge now for any coat to have that effect. He was lying on his side, propped up on his elbow, turning a leaf over in his hands. He seemed to be studying the veins sprouting out from the stem.

“Are we going to talk about Budapest?” he asked, surprising her.  She didn’t want to talk about Budapest. She didn’t want to think about it.

“I leave tomorrow afternoon,” she said, matter-of-factly, trying to hide her discomfort over the subject.  “You will go back to the States soon?”

He looked up at her, studying her face for a second. He tossed aside the leaf he’d been playing with.

“Yes, I will go soon,” he said quietly. “I have a commercial to shoot in New York City before training camp.”

“A commercial?  Really? For what?”

“Reebok. Shoes,” he said dismissively.  

“Do you do lots of commercials?” she asked. They’d never really talked about that part of his life before. She found it interesting, as well as distracting.

“Some.”

“You don’t sound very enthused about it.”

“It is not something that I like to do so much. You know, it just part of my job. I do some here in Russia, too. It’s good thing you don’t have to be pretty for hockey ads.”

She looked at him, trying to decide if he were kidding or not.

“You are very pretty.”

“You have eyes,” he chuckled.  “I have seen them. They are chocolate brown and very pretty. Can you not see from them?”

“I see you very well, Alexander.”

She brushed her fingers gently down his cheek and looked into those beautiful eyes that she loved so much. She kissed him quickly before her sadness was able to take hold of her.

Chapter Twenty-five

Her room was dark and quiet except for the sounds of his soft breathing next to her.  She slowly rolled over and kissed his shoulder softly.  Carefully, she slid out from under the blanket and out of bed.  She quietly tip-toed to the chair where he had left his t-shirt and pulled it on over her head.   It smelled like him and she breathed deeply and smiled.  She continued padding softly to the door of the balcony and went outside, careful not to let in much light so she wouldn’t wake him.  It was only 3 am, but since the sun never really went down at this time of year, it was light enough to see the city around her. The air was clear and crisp and a bit damp. It seemed a bit foggy with the damp mist settling on the streets below. She couldn’t sleep. Her mind kept racing.  She stood with her hands on the railing and breathed deeply.  She shivered slightly and moved to the lounge chair. She wrapped herself in a blanket and snuggled into the chair.  She stared out toward the Kremlin, but didn’t really see it. Her mind kept playing back images in her head. Alex, the first time she saw him; Alex, leaning against the car when she took his picture; Alex, in the pond with Mishka; Alex, sitting on the grass in St. Petersburg.  She kept seeing his face, the way he looked at her, the way he smiled at her just before he kissed her.  Did it all really mean nothing?  Would he move on and forget all about her?  After tomorrow, would she ever look into his eyes again?   It couldn’t be.  She’d been completely careless.  She’d fallen in love with him.  She didn’t even know it was happening until it was too late.   She’d never expected someone like him to come along. She was unprepared.  And now, she was lost.  She was leaving for Budapest and he was going back to a whole other world that she knew nothing about.  He was a superstar in the hockey world, a huge celebrity.  She didn’t know anything about that man.  All she knew was that she loved that kind and gentle man sleeping in her bed just inside. That man laughed at everything, took joy in everything, held her close and kissed her tenderly. She would lose him. Was he different with the whole hockey world at his feet?  Would she still love him?  She couldn’t believe that he could look at her the way he did and not have some real feelings for her.  She didn’t want to believe that she was just some girl to him, that he didn’t really care.  She didn’t want to believe that he didn’t love her.  She didn’t want to go back to the woman she was before, completely competent, but lonely, so lonely that she didn’t even remember what she was missing.  He’d changed her. He treated her like no man had ever done before.  He made her feel like she was something special.

Did he make everyone feel that way? Was she just a fool? Was she just some stupid girl to allow herself to believe that there was more?  Maybe he did this every summer. Maybe he chose some random female and seduced her until she would do anything for him and then left.  No, she didn’t believe that! She would never believe that he didn’t care for her!  Why did it matter that she wasn’t Russian?  She loved him. Why couldn’t she have the chance to make him happy because she was born across the pond? Why wasn’t he allowed to love her back?   

She could fight it all she wanted, scream against it in her head, but it didn’t change anything. He would leave and she would have to go on.  It would be over.  She shivered in the cold and caught her breath.  She brushed away her tears with the back of her hand.  She hadn’t even realized she had started to cry.

“Kroshka?” he called.  She jumped and made sure her eyes were dry as she rushed to the door.

“I’m here,” she said in a voice forced to be steady.

“What are you doing out here?” he said, meeting her at the door.

“I couldn’t sleep. I… I didn’t want to wake you.”

“You are freezing,” he said, wrapping his arms around her. “Come back to bed. You should not be out there in the cold.”

She snuggled her head into his warm chest and allowed him to walk her back to the bed.  He took her blanket, tossed it on the chair beside the bed and ushered her under the covers.  It was still warm from where he had been lying.  He crawled in next to her and pulled her into his arms again. He kissed her forehead and rubbed the chill from her arms.

“Why you couldn’t sleep?”

“I don’t know,” she lied. She reached up and brushed the hair from his brow. She looked into the blue of his eyes, barely visible in the small light of the room.  She brushed her lips across his and watched as they curled up into a smile.

“I know a way to get you warm quick,” he said.

“Oh, you do?” she smiled and bit her lip.

“Uh huh,” he mumbled and kissed her neck.  She guided his mouth to find hers and kissed him deeply.  He was here and she made a decision. She refused to mourn his loss before he was actually gone.

Chapter Twenty four

The next couple of days passed so quickly for Zoey.  She was with Alex constantly.  She even worked out with him once, though, she had a hard time keeping up with him.  He finally stopped his regular workout and invited her into a kick boxing ring.  He took his time finding her boxing gloves small enough to fit snuggly.  She gazed up at him, uncertain that she wanted to get into the ring against him.  He approached the whole thing with a big grin that she felt was cause for concern.  He was going to have much too much fun with this. 

“I be easy with you, Kroshka,” he leaned over and whispered in her ear.  But he was snickering.   She slipped off her shoes and climbed into the ring with him.  She watched him bounce around slightly and punch the air.  His biceps would give anyone reason to think twice. Why did she agree to get into this ring?  He was standing across the ring now, with a big grin on his face.  He held his gloves palms up and waved his wrists enticing her to come at him.  Her lips widened into a smile. Well, he asked for it.  She moved closer to him, boucing herself up on her toes.  They danced around the ring for a few seconds.

“Come on,” he waved his gloves at her again. “You a chicken?”

“CHICKEN?” she exclaimed.  She moved closer and threw a punch.  He blocked her easily.

“Oh, come on. You not even trying.”

Her eyes narrowed as she glared at him.  She threw a quick right and followed up with a left.  He still managed to block both shots. He kept laughing.  She was beginning to get annoyed. He dodged or blocked every attempt and did it all with a grin or a giggle. She found herself getting incredibly frustrated and lunged at him with both gloves at his chest.  He laughed, grabbing her around the waist and picked her up in his arms.

“Put me down. You aren’t even trying!”

“I not hit you, Kroshka.”

“What?” she exclaimed.

“I not hit girls,” he said laughing.

“Then why are we in here? Why did you want to box with me?”

“It fun.  You get mad. You have fire, Kroshka. I like it,” he said laughing.  He set her back on her feet, but she did not removed her hand from around his neck.

“What now?” she asked.

“We could wrestle.”

Mishka had invited them over that same afternoon. A group of Alex’s childhood friends were getting together for a game of street hockey where they used to play as children.  Zoey met Mishka’s girlfriend, Olga, outside their apartment.  She was a tall, blonde Russian, with a sly smile.  Four more friends of Alex’s were already playing and Alex went directly out to join them. Zoey sat on the top step in front of the apartment building. She laughed as Mishka and Alex wrestled in the street. Mishka was defending against Alex.  It seemed he was the only one willing to take on this job.  Zoey quickly understood why.  Alex used his impressive size against his friend. Though Mishka tried, he could not gain any ground on the Superstar. Olga sat on the step next to Zoey.

“Sasha is a show off,” she laughed.

Zoey just smiled at her and went on watching the guys. She would have agreed, but as he seemed to be showing off for her, she just smiled.

“You really have never seen him play before?” Olga asked skeptically.

“No,” Zoey replied. “I was never really into sports. I spend so much of my time travelling. I guess now I’ll have to find the time to watch.”

She was actually looking forward to seeing him play. He approached everything with such passion. His true love was hockey. She could imagine how explosive he would be on the ice.

“You think so?” Olga asked. There was a tone in her voice that held a foreboding that Zoey didn’t quite understand. 

Zoey looked at her questioningly, “Why wouldn’t I?  He loves hockey so much. It must be incredible to see him play.”

“Ah, well, naturally you would feel this way now, but when you go your separate ways, you may not care to.”

Zoey felt her heart drop to the pit of her stomach. Go their separate ways?  She hadn’t really thought about that.  She had been enjoying his company so much that she had forgotten that she only had three more days in Moscow.  Zoey looked back at the friends laughing in the street.  She swallowed hard.

“You are very pretty and nice girl, Zoey, I am sure. But Sasha, he is Russian. American girl cannot ever know how to care for a Russian man. You have to know this.”

“What makes you think that?”  Zoey asked, doing her best to keep her voice level so as not to betray her feelings.

“You must be realistic, Zoey. This is just a fling for Sasha. He needs a Russian girl,” Olga scoffed. “Tell me, are you really willing to give up your life, your career with pictures, to wait on a man, even one such as Sasha, hand and foot?  Make his meals, wash his clothes, care for his children alone, while he is travelling around the country playing hockey. This is what it means to love a Russian man.”

Zoey was quiet.  Give up her career?  Sit and wait for him while he was gone? She wasn’t sure that was something she’d ever consider.  Would he really expect her to give up her life’s passion while he lived his?  She looked down at her hands. Was she really just some summer fling to him, just someone to pass the time with?

He shook her from her thoughts as he bounded over and sat down next to her. He was breathing heavily through his smile and he reached for her cheek trying to kiss her.

“Ugh. You’re all sweaty!” she said, pushing against his chest, hiding her feelings behind a laugh.

“Of course, you play hard, you sweat. Surely, you know this by now,” he grinned at her devilishly. He tried to kiss her again and she allowed it this time. Whether it was a fling or not, he was irresistible to her.  There was a tremble in her lips she hoped he would take for passion.

“You okay?” he asked. “You look funny?”

She took his face in her hands and kissed him again.

“I am absolutely fine,” she said, looking at him with dreamy eyes and, subconsciously, she began to count his kisses until the last.

Chapter Twenty-three

Zoey stood outside the metal rails at the Rally carousel in Gorky Park. It was a very warm day in Moscow. Alex had surprised her again with an adventure. He had decided that a little excitement would be good to punctuate their trip back home. Gorky Park was her surprise. She stood watching the brightly colored cars wisk the children around and around in circles. She found herself smiling at their laughter despite her discomfort.  Alex appeared at her side and handed her a soda.

“The bubbles will make you feel better,” he said, not doing a very good job hiding his grin. 

She scowled at him and sipped the drink which tasted much like ginger ale. 

“Why is everything at an amusement park designed to make you puke?” she grumbled, lifting her hand to wipe the dampness from her brow.   

“You are stronger than the Eurostar. You did not puke,” he laughed at her.

“Well, I’m not sure I’ve completely conquered the feeling yet. Why would anyone want to ride something that makes you feel like you are in a blender?”

Alex laughed at her again and put his arm across her shoulders pulling her toward him.  He kissed her gently on the forehead.

“I told you that it was not a good idea,” she scolded him. 

“Kroshka,” he whispered in her ear. She could still hear the amusement in his voice. “You did not say you would get sick. Do you need to sit down?”

“No, I am fine,” she said quietly embarrassed. She looked up at him wondering how he managed to get her on a ride the plummeted 50 feet and twirled its riders 360 degrees.  The smile on his face made her think that he could persuade her into just about anything. Was that his magnetism or her weakness?  

The ride in front of them winded down and the children began to scatter. A small boy, about 5 years old, walked over to the rail near them.  The exit was on the opposite side of the ride and he seemed to be lost.  His face was slowly becoming more and more distressed.

Zoey was about to reach out her hand to him when Alex climbed over the rail and kneeled down in front of the boy.  He spoke softly and gently and Zoey watched the boy nod back at him. Alex held out his huge palm in front of him.  Zoey watched a tiny hand with plump little fingers come to rest on top of it and watched Alex’s lips grow into a smile.  He stood slowly and walked with the little boy to the other side of the ride. It made an amazing picture for Zoey’s memory, a tiny little boy reaching high holding onto this huge man’s hand.  It was not one she would catch on film, but one she would always hold in her heart. The boy saw his mother and ran to her, stopped short and ran back to Alex wrapping his arms around Alex’s leg in a quick hug and ran off again. She watched Alex lift his hand in a wave.

He returned to her with a big smile on his face and she threw her arms around his neck. She squeezed him hard and grabbed his face in her hands, planting a big kiss on his lips. He was slightly taken aback by her reaction, but accepted her kiss gratefully. 

“Not to complain, but what was that for?” he asked, as she looked adoringly up into his big blue eyes.

“You were so sweet with him, Alex.”

“No, I am not sweet. Don’t spread rumors about me,” he laughed at her.

“You are sweet and amazing and wonderful.”

“You would not say such things if you knew me better,” he whispered in her ear and nibbled her neck.

“You can’t fool me, Alex.  I see who you are.”

He rolled his eyes at her, “don’t tell anyone. Sweet is not what a hockey player is supposed to be.”